Sharing stories of adventures with friends - and on my own - on the road. Texas, Idaho, Wyoming, and finally, the road that would take me to Alaska. Also looking at the importance of companions, honesty, and being willing to stay open to all of the possibilities that The Universe has to offer. In addition, there's some laughter, some ridiculousness, some sadness, and a new life beginning. Again.
Read MoreLearning to navigate my "new life" (it truly felt like I started over on my 30th birthday) was challenging as The Universe was attempting to teach me about Love, through both "Big L" and "little l" experiences of it. I was not the most cooperative pupil! However, through friendship, companionship, and the ever-expanding world of my new gig with the theatre company, I was beginning to get the idea!
Read MoreLooking at 1992, the year leading up to my turning 30, and the acknowledgment of the many “this-is-the-end-of-everything-oh-wait-no-it’s-not” moments I have encountered in my life. The formation of My Boys, the addition of two new friends that would change my life, and - most important of all - The Summit, on my 30th birthday. The moment that would change my life forever.
Read MoreThis week, I get to introduce one of the most important people in my story. My soul-twin, my other me. My Jimmy. Also, my return to theatre and the discovery of the way I work as an actor, the introduction of The Knights, and continuing to find ways to use the darkness to keeping moving me into the light.
Read MoreSettling back into life in Ohio, find my way to living what might be considered a "normal" life. With the help of my lifelines - my family, Carl, Michael, and others - as well as some custom-made mix-8-tracks and a sweet little piano, I continue to find reasons to live and to keep the Demons from moving in and taking over.
Read MoreWelcome to Season Three!We begin this new season by taking a look back at my departure from NYC, my time in Hudson, and my return to Cleveland. And seeing all of this through the lens of what Healing means to me: the perpetual, on-going experience of returning to my own strong inner self.
Read MoreThis episode - which runs a bit longer than previous episodes - takes us right into the experience of ECT (shock treatment). How it impacted me and how I survived it. Life in the hospital, out of the hospital, back into the hospital, and - ultimately - out of New York City (that part of the story is my favourite!). I walked through the valley of the shadow and - miraculously - chose to walk out of it. And life truly began.
Read MoreSix weeks into my stay on the psych unit - 10 West - the arrival of another patient, Clare, brought about a shift in me. Sadly, what I learned from Clare ended up pulling me into a much darker place. I became someone I didn't recognize. And then, I was offered an option that would change everything. Again.
Read More10 West: We have arrived at the part of the story where I admitted myself into the psych unit of a New York City hospital. This episode gives a taste of what life was like on the unit (that word "taste" is a clue - there was a lot of pudding!!). I learned how to navigate the system of tricking my psychiatrists with lies while discovering the power of honesty with one of the psychiatric nurses. Things seem to be going along fine....Until the arrival of a patient named Clare.
Read MoreMy Second Bad Decision
This episode begins a series of episodes chronicling my time living in New York City. It was only three years and yet, it was quite full. The people I met, the adventures I had, the lessons I learned, all helped to shape who I am today. First, though, I had to survive them! Thanks for listening.
Read MoreWelcome back for Season Two! In this episode, we begin the journey into "The Valley of the Shadow." Life changes, lessons learned, the awakening of a new voice, and the revelation that the voice gifted me. Thank you, as always, for listening.
Welcome back for Season Two! In this episode, we begin the journey into "The Valley of the Shadow." Life changes, lessons learned, the awakening of a new voice, and the revelation that the voice gifted me. Thank you, as always, for listening.
We all are faced with making choices, decisions, every day. While living with depression, I have not always thought through some of those decisions. That has, on occasion, put me into some precarious positions. Each of those moments, however, offered me the opportunity to learn that I am here for a reason. I just needed to stick around long enough to find out what it was.
Read MoreHaving a plan is a great thing. Especially for folks living with depression. However, this whole podcasting adventure has taught me that, sometimes, it's best to pay attention to changes, and to take the detour. Reflecting on how depression is viewed, "assessed," and forced into being one thing. And finding ways to understand that. And still be our unique selves. Thank you for listening! www.revrachelhollander.com
Read MoreLearning how to navigate the world - while living with depression - requires some creativity. I figured that out when I was around 14. It is still true today! We can use that skill - creativity - to help stay alive. Thanks for listening!
Read MoreIt is not always easy to describe the experience of depression. As a child, it was difficult to define it, since I didn’t really understand what was happening. Discovering the hum helped me not only gain clarity on what I was experiencing, it also helped me learn how to explain it to others. In this episode, the discovery and explanation of “the hum.”
Read MoreThe concept of "starting at the beginning" is tricky when it comes to living with depression. The journey, at least for me, is not necessarily linear.
With that, today, I start with where I am now before I head back into my "then."
Welcome to episode 2!
Read MoreDeath By Peanut Butter Cookies
Welcome to Season One of "I Wasn't Always Like This."
This episode is something of an introduction to the ways I have learned to live with depression.
After a failed attempt to kill myself - using artificially flavoured peanut butter cookies - I learned the value in second chances.
And I also began this journey of learning how to live with depression. Live WITH, not suffer from or be a victim to it.
The journey begins here.
Read MoreRev. Rachel Hollander lives a kaleidoscope life as a Minister, Singer, Songwriter, Teacher, Writer, Interpreter, Counselor, Officiate.
“You won’t be able to fly unless you are willing to transform.”
- Suzy Kassem
Rev. Rachel Hollander • revrachelhollander@gmail.com Website Design: Victoria Price Art & Design.
